Sunday, 4 December 2011

3-Day Potty Training

I potty trained both my children successfully in 3 days. This is how I did it.

Supplies:
  • Musical Potty (adds to the excitement)
  • Flushable wipes
  • Stickers
  • Smarties
  • LOTS of undies 15-20
  • Plenty of fluids
  • Soil bag
To prepare:
  • Clear your entire schedule for 3 days, no one comes in or out
  • Place potty in very accessible area (ie. kitchen or dining room)
  • Pull up any rugs you may have
  • Get all supplies ready and waiting
Two weeks prior:
Talk about going Pee & Poop on the potty soon. Make this a big exciting deal. Go shopping for the potty together, pick out the big girl/boy undies together. Get your supplies ready and waiting. Put the potty in the living room (clean of course/unused) and let your child play with the potty, put their dolls/stuffies on the potty. Let them get used to the potty & get all the curiosity of tipping it over, putting the lid up and down now.

Night Before:
Remind child that tomorrow is the big day that they become a big girl/boy!

**First I want to address the reward system. When I trained my son it was more difficult & frustrating mainly because it was the first time either of us had done this and my initial sticker reward just wasn't doing the trick. In a talk with one of my girlfriends, I was explaining my frustration with the stickers. She suggested giving my son smarties as a reward like her sisiter-in-law was doing and was seeing results. I replied to her suggestion with "I don't want to reward my children with food!". Like we have read 100 times and everyone says don't do that. The problem I was having is that stickers are always readily available to my kids in their craft area, this wasn't a reward to them at all. After I made my reply, my girlfriend said "You're not going to do it forever!" I thought, she's right. My kids are not going to become messed up if I reward them with Smarties for potty training. I obviously would not be applying this strategy to everything in life, I was going to give it a try. So with that said, this is how I potty trained my children.**

Day One:
  • Tell child that today is the day they go pee & poop on the potty. Remind them that they do not pee or poop in their undies. 
  • Take off their diaper and put their new undies on (make a big deal)
  • Do not go back to diapers for any reason at all. Have child say goodbye to diapers, this is a cold turkey approach. 
  • Give child a huge glass of milk or water
  • EVERY 15 MINUTES PLACE CHILD ON POTTY (set a timer)
Note: Your child IS going to have accidents. My son had nine before he picked up on the concept, my daughter had 5. Your child may have more.
  • With every accident, remind child that they don't pee or poop in their undies, they do it on the potty.
When you have your first success...
  • Congratulate child and tell them what a big girl/boy they are. 
  • Wipe childs bum and get undies back on. 
  • Bring child with pee/poop bowl to the toilet and have child flush toilet, congratulate again
  • Put potty back together and wash hands in the sink. Teach proper hand washing at this point, I tell my kids "Fronts & backs & in between"
  • Once hands are clean, have child pick out their Smartie (we did one Smartie for pee & two for poop)
  • Once they have ate the Smartie, sing the potty song. Clap hands, dance and sing "Pee Pee in the Potty, Pee Pee in the Potty" or "Poo Poo in the Potty, Poo Poo in the Potty" Repeat several times. Clap & cheer at the end of the song.
  • Give child sticker to place on their potty (We did jewels for our daughter, anything they like)
  • Call Daddy if he's at work or Grandma or Grandpa, the child has great pride in doing this step (as do you ;))
Continue above for rest of day, potty every 15 minutes. If your child becomes resistant to every 15 minutes, push to 30 minutes, this is not supposed to be stressful. Place pull-up on at night, not a diaper!

Day Two:
  • Continue as you did day one, every 30 minutes on potty and this point. Make sure you are giving child lots to drink.

Day Three:
  • This is a training day for the rest of the days to come. There is no time limit to being placed on the potty. Ask the child frequently if they need to go potty. Place them on when they need to go. Voila!! Trained!!!
Tips:

ALWAYS do the reward & potty dance for ~1 month at least then tapper off
ALWAYS congratulate
EVERY SUCCESS is as exciting as the first one, ALWAYS make them feel so proud
ALWAYS tell them you are so proud of them
EVERYONE in the house at the time of potty training takes part in the Potty Song & Dance
TRY and relax, this will be trying but it will be worth it in three days
STICK to the plan, do not waver, put a diaper on, or stop being excited for them. This needs to be done in 3 uninterrupted consecutive days.
PUT A POTTY IN THE CAR or van so the child can go at anytime.

Hope this was helpful!

*UPDATE*-I have had a few questions on how long to leave the child on the potty for a 'try'? I would leave your child on the potty for only a few minutes, if nothing happens, praise them for a great try and start the clock from then.

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196 comments:

  1. Wish I had seen this post 4 years ago. When I potty trained my son, I thought it was a mission impossible.

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  2. I did something similar...my 18 month old was trained in three days. I will be pinning this because I often get asked how I did it. I haven't ever typed up my approach. Thanks!!

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  3. Thanks so much, I really appreciate the link!

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  4. I love the musical potty--great idea! And love the potty dance. Some really great ideas here! Thanks for linking up to Oopsey Daisy!

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  5. Thanks Alison, you have really been instrumental in getting my blog seen! I can't thank you enough!

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  6. Awesome! I love step by step approaches! My twins are going to be 3 in 2 months and we've had success very randomly... maybe they need the cold turkey plan!

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  7. Good luck Jamie, this method hasn't let me down yet! Tried, Tested & True ;)

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  8. I having been potty training for months now. My son does not care about prizes or even if he wets himself. He will just pull off his pants before he even tells me he went. He won't fight me to go on the potty and he does go when I put him on it. I can't get him to tell me he has to go. Every time I ask him he always says no. So frustrating.

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  9. Angela, try not asking him. Try just putting him on the potty every half hour for 3 days. Consistency is the absolute key here. Clear your calender, cold turkey, every 30 minutes. Give him LOTS of fluid to drink, you want to make sure he is understanding the correlation between the two. You want him to really get used to the 'feeling' of having to go pee or poop. For pooping, watch for signs of an extended belly, feel it, does it feel hard, likes there's a poop inside ;) Ask him "Do you have to poop?" "Do you feel a tickle in your penis like you have to go pee?" "Did you feel like you had to poop?" "Did you feel a tickle before you peed?" Get these words into his vocabulary, talk about peeing and pooping until you think you might go crazy. He may just be lacking the words to communicate to you. Don't worry if he doesn't say the right words as long as you get what he means. My daughter tells me she has to "poop" regardless of it being pee or poop. Good luck, let me know how it goes.

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  10. I will have to try that. I do ask him all the time but he always says no and I put him on it anyways. I will try the tinkle method and I was avoiding giving him fluids so he didn't have any accidents. I will let you know how I make out. We are trying it this weekend.

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  11. Awesome, excited to see how it goes. Best of luck!

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  12. How old were your children when you did this? I tried the cold turkey method when she was eighteen months because I'm a teacher and wanted to do it over the summer when I was home. She was definitely not ready. My munchkin turned 2 in December and I'm definitely ready to take the plunge again, but I don't want daycare to have to do it. I want to be the one. Any suggestions on the right age? Thanks.

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    1. Both my kids were 28 months when I trained them. I think it depends on the child, some are younger, some are older. I think the best advice I can give you is to train when they are ready, willing and able to grasp the concept. I agree that you should train them. Daycare should follow your lead. I will copy & past what I give my parents regarding potty training from my handbook. Good luck this go around! Let me know if you have anymore questions!

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    2. Potty Training Policy

      Is your child ready?

      1. Expresses interest in coming into the bathroom with you to find out what goes on there and perhaps even sits on the toilet herself.

      2. Understands what the toilet is for and what it means to have a wet or dirty diaper. If she also shows a preference for being clean and dry, fussing when she's wet, pulling off a dirty diaper, or asking to be changed; all the better!

      3. Knows the words for urinating and having a bowel movement (I use proper words for body parts and ‘pee’ & ‘poop’)

      4. Can stay dry for at least two hours at a time.

      5. Has regular bowel movements with soft, formed stools.

      6. Can and will follow simple directions, such as those for washing hands.

      7. Can help pull pants up and down on their own.

      8. Seems to recognize ahead of time that she's about to go, and can tell you before it happens.

      9. Is in a willing, receptive mood and isn't going through any major transitions (like adjusting to a new sibling or school).

      10. Demonstrates a desire for independence

      If your child meets most of these criteria, she's ready to try. If not, wait a month or two and reevaluate.

      Potty Training must begin at home over a long weekend or holiday. Once you have had success at home for at least ONE WEEK, your child may begin wearing pull-ups or cotton underpants with plastic pants to go over them until I feel that he/she is doing well enough without them and staying dry consistently. You must provide me with 1-2 pull-ups for nap daily or other extended periods. Pull-ups may be used at naptime indefinitely. Also you MUST provide me with at least 2 complete changes of clothing for your child. Under no circumstances will your child be allowed to potty-train in regular underwear. This is for sanitary reasons! Regular underwear cannot contain urine & feces to prevent the spread of germs in my home & to other children in care & to my family. We need to work together to keep everyone safe from the spreading of germs as much as possible while in the training stages. Please cooperate with me on this matter. Further, if within 2-3 weeks, your child shows no signs of progress, I reserve the right to put your child back in diapers & try again at a later date. I will not force children to sit on the potty and will use only positive encouragement in order to promote using the potty. I use a relaxed approach with lots of praise and small rewards (i.e. stickers or smartie as well as the ‘Pee Pee Parade’ Song & Dance). The reward will be consistent for EVERY TIME A CHILD HAS A SUCCESSFUL PEE OR POOP ON THE POTTY! Send your child ONLY in easy on/easy off clothing until they are able to completely undress and dress themselves. Due to sanitary reasons I cannot rinse out soiled clothes. They will be bagged and sent home for washing.

      During potty training you must provide me with the following:
      - Potty training chair
      - FLUSHABLE wipes
      - 5 or more Pull-ups/Underwear + plastic pant
      - Latex gloves
      - 2 changes of ‘Easy-Off’ cloths
      - Sealable bags for soiled cloths
      - Garbage bags to use as ‘mats’ under potty


      There are two criteria that must be met before a child can go diaper/pull-up free in my home. This is for convenience, cleanliness and to avoid damage to my home.

      1. The child must demonstrate they can consistently be accident free throughout the day in a pull-up/plastic pant.
      2. The child needs to be able to express on its own when they must use the bathroom and be able to control the urge for a few moments after the announcement.

      Please do not assume that since I am “home” that accidents are not an issue and are easy to deal with.

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  13. Interesting...I have the potty...we are doing somewhat okay...we just started training this week. With 5 kids it is impossible to clear a schedule, but I do think the cold turkey will help and putting him on the potty every 30 minutes would make a drastic difference also. Great tips, thanks! I am a new follower. Check me out if you get a chance, found you on the Foley fam link up :) xxoo-Kim http://bbunchmama.blogspot.com

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    1. Welcome!! Wow, 5 kids would be hard to schedule around. Good luck & thanks for stopping by. I'm going to check your blog out too. Thanks for the comment!

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  14. so gonna share this with my friend at work who is currently trying to potty train her son

    come visit me at http://shopannies.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for sharing! Good luck to her & her son. Thanks for stopping by ;)

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  15. What a fabulous post! We are potty training our 18 month old as she has been doing poos on the toilet for over 5 months and has started to tell us when she's doing wees as well so it seems she's ready. I think I will try this method as I've read similar in my Baby Wise book about going hardcore for 3 days.... all at home... lots of rewards and praise etc.
    Thanks for your excellent explanation and encouragement! Will let you know how we go!! :)

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    1. Wow! Pooping on the potty for 5 months, you've got this in the bag. This method hasn't let me down yet. My mom 'cold turkey' trained us (me and my siblings)and my bestie & I trained our boys like this successfully at the same time. So through my mom's advice, our trials & errors and lots of reading, this was born. I would love to hear how it goes, remember it is okay to get frustrated, just take a time-out for yourself in private ;) My son peed on the carpet 9 times before he went on the potty the first day, I took a few time-outs myself. Good luck & have fun!

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  16. PS. Found you via a linky (can't remember where!) but I'm now following your fabulous blog! Come and say hi over at Just For Daisy! :) x

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  17. Hey there Shantalle- Question for ya....I am going to give this a whirl with my son (3 3/4yrs old- REFUSES to attempt potty training). On the days where you took them to the potty every 15-30 minutes how long did you have them sit there? My son would sit there ALL day if I let him.

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    1. Hey Lindsi, Great question. I would leave your little guy on the potty for only a few minutes, if nothing happens, praise him for a great try and start the clock from then. Remember, he IS going to have accident after accident but once he realizes you are not giving in and putting him back in a diaper, he will eventually go on the potty. Once he starts realizing he gets a reward for GOING pee or poop instead of just hanging out on the potty all day, he will get the hang of it. Stick to it, stay strong and you will do great! Good luck, I would love to know how it turns out!

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  18. Great tips! We did "potty boot camp" which was a similar idea. We had special songs, we all wore boots, and we just took the diapers away. Thanks for sharing at Shine on Fridays; you're being featured tomorrow on Kara's blog Happy Go Lucky!

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    1. WooHoooo!!!! Thanks so much Amy! Linked up again today! ;)

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    2. What about if the child is in daycare. My son is and the class above him takes frequent trips to the potty and it seemed like it would be an inconvenience for his teacher to have him go along with them to the bathroom to use the potty. My fear is if I try this and am successful in a week daycare will not follow through and he will be confused.

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  19. hi :) my fiance and i are in the process of potty training our 28 month old son....and weve been doing most of the same things youve mentioned. but we have one big question....when sitting our son on the toilet every 30 mins or so, how long should we sit him on it, before we let him get down because he says he dosnt have to pee??? it seems like we put him on for 10 or 15 minutes at a time, then after we take him off, he has an accident....

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    1. Hi, this is a common question, I would leave your little guy on the potty for only a few minutes, if nothing happens, praise him for a great try and start the clock from then. Remember, he IS going to have accident after accident but once he realizes you are not giving in and putting him back in a diaper, he will eventually go on the potty. Once he starts realizing he gets a reward for GOING pee or poop instead of just hanging out on the potty all day, he will get the hang of it. Stick to it, stay strong and you will do great! Good luck!! Please let me know how you are doing, I would love to hear back!

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    2. lol i just realized this IS a common quesion LOL thanks for the info..were working on it :) ill def let you know :) and if you want you can check out my blog at noyoureajerk.blogspot.com :)

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  20. Hi. Thank you for your step by step. I'm planning to do this 3 day method this coming holiday weekend. My little girl (23 months - turns 2 on the 1st) has been sitting on the potty and recently had one success. When I ask her if she has to go she runs to the potty and sits for a few seconds and stands back up. I've been having to bribe her with a cookie to stay seated. Any recs to keep her seated even just for a few minutes to "try"? Also, should I keep the potty chair in the bathroom or put it in the family room where we'll be spending the 3 days?

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  21. Oh I am SO trying this method with my little man!

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    1. Alright girl...Monday the 23rd is D-Day or should I say P-Day?! We're gonna do it!

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    2. Sa-weet!! Lots of good luck and patience. ;) Let me know how it goes!

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  22. I like it, but what do you do at night? My son will go on the potty, but just a little bit to make it sing. i ask him to finish and he doesn't, but then in the AM he is soaked through his diaper from holding it and waiting.

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    1. Hi Bean,
      Great question. First focus on one thing at a time. Once he is fully trained in the daytime, then move to night time. The great news is, he has control over what he is doing and he is HOLDING his pee. You just need to get the control back. Try turning the music off on the potty so he doesn't get that reward and tell him that the potty will not start to sing again until he has a big pee on the potty. You should be stopping liquid consumption at least two hours before bed time other than a small drink (1/2 dixie cup)at bed with teeth brushing (if drinks are part of nighttime routine). Also for the first few weeks wake your son up before you go to bed to go potty. That helps shorten the length of time between potty breaks and encourages dry nights. Let me know if this helps at all and thanks for stopping by. Good luck!

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  23. Hi, just wanting some advice. We tried this about a month ago with our 21mth old, but gave up because she was getting too anxious. We were left with agirl who won't fall asleep with a full bladder or wet diaper but won't wee on the potty or toiler. We wjent cold turkey again a few days ago, and she can tell us when she needs to go but then we sit down and nothing happens, so we get her up and she wets herself a few minutes later and then gets really upset because she has wet herself! And her sleep is terrible. We go back and forth to the potty by request, nothing happens then eventually she wets her pull-up and gets upset, so we change and tn goes to sleep.
    We have tried all sorts of things to encourage her to wee. Every now and then she does one, and is praised and rewarded but still not getting it. Please help!
    Thanks

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    1. Hi El,
      I see you have been putting her on the potty by request. Are you putting her on the potty every 15-30mins? This method is parent driven and is reliant on consistency. My son did the same thing, sit on the potty, nothing and then pee himself. You need to stick to the plan, no back and forth and put her on potty no questions asked regularly. The fact that she is getting upset with herself is actually a good thing. She IS getting this. If she wasn't she wouldn't care. Things I have tried with my kids, natural consequences: If she pees in her new special undies, she needs to clean the mess up. This won't be fun for long. If you try this, make sure she follows through and cleans it up, not some and you do the rest. When she sits on the potty and doesn't go pee, congratulate her for a good try and remind her we will try again in 15 minutes. When she has an accident and gets upset, help explain her feelings to her. Remind her that if she pees on the potty she won't pee in undies and then she won't feel upset. How long are you leaving her on the potty? Try running the water to help, try giving her a book to 'read' while she is sitting on the potty. You mentioned she was anxious the first go around, is this a normal personality trait of her's? Maybe she would like to pee in private, you can ask her if she wants you to leave the bathroom (just outside the door) and call you when she is all done? Does she like dolly's? Could you have her teach the dolly how to go pee, teaching is an excellent method of learning. Remember concitancy is key, stick with it, get frustrated in the privacy of you room and come back out and keep going, keep going, keep going. If she sees you give up, she sees that this is not really something she needs to put her full effort into. You can do this Mama!! Good luck! Let me know how it turns out or if you have anymore questions :)

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    2. thanks for the advice! We started out going at regular intervals but then stretched it out because she can go 2-3 hours (and sometimes more) without peeing!! Have taken her back to every 30 minutes just to see if we can get a breakthrough. She gets annoyed with the repetitive trips to the potty though... If she tells me that she needs to go, in between those time, we also take her then, and then restart the clock.
      When we sit down, we sit her there for 5 minutes, then get up if nothing (unless she gets engrossed in her book, then she just wants to stay there and 'read'!!). We have tried running water, playing with water, me going on the big toilet while she goes on the potty. When she goes to the potty, we take whatever doll/teddy is in favour that day and they do a 'wee' (me pouring out some water behind their back) on another potty that we have. Then said toy gets a sticker and a mini-marshmallow.
      She gets distressed when we leave her alone, but are trying to stay just around the corner, to see if that helps. She is naturally a little anxious, and took a long time to learn to walk as she hated falling over! I think she is a bit of a high-achiever who hates getting things wrong. Trying to use this to my advantage...
      When my daughter does a wee on the potty she is so proud of herself though!
      The hardest part, which I think I mentioned, is that she won't fall asleep with a full bladder. We take her just before nap/bed but as she doesn't normally do something, she then goes to bed and then asks to go to the toilet. If we do take her, its just for a quick trip, very boring trip. Eventually she wets herself, then we have to change her and then she will fall asleep! She is normally a very good sleeper, so this is tiring for all of us. We do put her in a pull-up for sleeping... otherwise she is in cotton training pants.
      Anyhow, we have to persevere!!! I will let you know how we get on...

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    3. Just wanted to say thanks for your help. We are day trained for wees, variable for poo but getting there.

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    4. AWESOME El!!!! My pleasure ;) Nighttime & poops will come. Great job!! Enjoy your day :D

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  24. Hi! Love this post! we are now on day three with our son. He will go every fifteen minutes when we place him on the potty. The problem is, despite peeing on the potty when the timer goes off, he'll also still have 3-4 accidents a day. My question is how long should we continue to expect accidents? and, how long till the transition from him going to the potty when the timer goes off vs when he will be able to tell us he has to pee? I'll ask him if he feels a "tickle" and he'll always say no, but when I stick him on the potty, he'll pee.... any advice?

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    1. Hi, can I ask how old your son is? When he has an accident have him clean it up. Did u get him themed undies that he loves ie.spiderman? If so u can try telling him if he has an accident in his undies they need to go in the garbage and have him throw them out. I realize this can be pricey but it has worked for me. It will be a bit (maybe a month or longer) before he can initiate potty breaks. Try leaving him on the potty a little longer so he empties his bladder completly. As far as accidents, they can always happen but shouldn't be that frequent, 1 a day maybe for first few weeks. You want to make accidents an unpleasant experience, that's why u have him deal with it. 15 minute intervals may be too long, try something between 10-15 minutes. Day 3 can have a slight cut back in fluids, more similar to a regular day. Try using different words when asking if he has to go, he may just not be connecting the word tickle. Hope that helps. Good luck!!

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    2. Hi, can I ask how old your son is? When he has an accident have him clean it up. Did u get him themed undies that he loves ie.spiderman? If so u can try telling him if he has an accident in his undies they need to go in the garbage and have him throw them out. I realize this can be pricey but it has worked for me. It will be a bit (maybe a month or longer) before he can initiate potty breaks. Try leaving him on the potty a little longer so he empties his bladder completly. As far as accidents, they can always happen but shouldn't be that frequent, 1 a day maybe for first few weeks. You want to make accidents an unpleasant experience, that's why u have him deal with it. 15 minute intervals may be too long, try something between 10-15 minutes. Day 3 can have a slight cut back in fluids, more similar to a regular day. Try using different words when asking if he has to go, he may just not be connecting the word tickle. Hope that helps. Good luck!!

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  25. Rachel Blackett2 August 2013 at 06:08

    Hi. We started potting training our daughter about a year ago as we thought she was pretty much ready (And I was kinda forced to by my husband and mother in law) As I didn't know what I was doing, I went by my mother in laws "advice" and did it her way. To say the least we weren't successful, the only thing was that she was no longer scared of the potty, and sometimes she would happen to to something. 4 months ago we decided to go back to what we trusted and got the toddlerwise book out (As we have brought both our children up using their babywise method with huge huge success) And just read the potty train part for now, which is very similar to what you have written to do. We started to see more success, as she started holding on for longer periods of time, so we lengthed the time out slowly to only putting her on every hour, but still checking to see if she was dry every half hour and giving her m&ms if she was dry (As putting her on more than that she was resiting and throwing tantrums) This was working fine, but we just can not get her to communicate that she needs to actually go potty (We have always had trouble with her speech and communication, she follows instruction fine but can't tell us what she wants) Then 2 weeks ago everytime I asked her to go onto the potty I have been meet with NOOOOO POTTY!!! and massive tantrums which causes her to have an accident because even being on the potty she is refusing to go (I have worked out today that the trantrums is actually probably from the amount of m&ms she is getting, as they were only meant to be for a couple of weeks... not 4 months!! so I have decided we are going back to stickers (Which she is getting for doing something on potty then gets yet another treat when she gets 20 which takes about a week)Stopped giving her so many m&ms today and noticed a slight difference in her attitude) Anyways, I decided this week to try another way to try get her us to tell us (Or just go on), by not telling her to go on or forcing her to go, and just asking her if she needs to go. Unfortunately this hasn't worked either as the first day there were tons of accidents which she got highly upset about, so we thought Oh good! she might learn, but instead over the next few days she instead is just holding on for hours and hours (Sometimes up to 5 hours) but then has a tantrum and wets herself cause she can't hold on while tantruming. Because I am worried about her getting an UTI by holding on that long I have decided not to continue this way. But I am absolutely running out of options. She understands to hold on, and that she has to do it on the potty, but just can't understand how to tell us she needs to go (She is very behind in speech compared to others her age (She is just over 2.5 years)). And after a year we have both had enough. Friends have told us to try putting her on every 15 mins, but we did that at the start of doing it this way for the first week, and all it did was make her resentful, and it meant the whole day was just about the potty (And it meant my then 9 month old wasn't getting the attention he needed) And to be honest I don't know how putting her on for more periods of time is going to make her understand better. But with a now 1 year old being very demanding, the potty training putting a wall up between my daughter and I and making us both very stressed, plus me being pregnant again (Maybe with twins) I am really really desperate to get this sorted now, but just have no idea what to do! I have tried EVERYTHING, and have run out of ways to help her understand (When I try to talk to her (eg "Tell mummy when you need to go on the potty" or when she wets her pants "We do wees on the potty, not in our pants") I am either meet with screams, or just a blank look on her face which I know means what I am saying to her is just not clicking, I actually feel like I am talking to a brick wall!! lol)

    Sorry for the really really long comment, but any advice would be useful!

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  26. Im on day one and super frustrated. My LO is 24 months. She exhibited all the signs that she is ready to train. We started today. Cold turkey, no diapers. I let her pick out her new undies. I will put her on the potty. She will tinkle some and we sit there a couple minutes when nothing else comes out Ill get her clothes back up and within a minute or two she's soaked. Any suggestions?

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    1. Keep at it! She has had 2 years of being trained NOT to pee when her clothes are off. Be patient with her and make sure you are placing her every 15 mins. If she can't make 15, try 10 and go back up from there. I know it is frustrating but if you stick with it and be super consistent, she will pick it up. Good luck!

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  27. PLEASE HELP ME! My daughter is 3 1/2 years old and we have been working on potty training for months. We were using pull ups (which, I will never do again) but are now using regular underwear. We have had some success in the past with rewards/sticker charts. She has gone on the potty hundreds of times (not even exaggerating) but usually because I sat her on the toilet and got lucky. She has never been one to tell me she has to go.

    For the past 4 days, we have been putting her on the potty every 20 mins. The first day the success:accident ratio was 9:1 followed by 5:5, 9:4 and so far today 5:4 (2 of which came in a 20 minute period). She does well drinking water throughout the day but we've been trying to give her extra liquids as recommended for this method but these extra liquids are causing a lot of accidents (she had a juice box an hour ago and has had 3 accidents since).

    I am beyond frustrated at this point and am finding myself crying as I am cleaning up these accidents. I know you are supposed to be positive but I just can't put on a happy face anymore. I do not know what to do going forward. Any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

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    1. Hi, first take a big breath and know that you are not the only one. I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess that you have a strong willed kid? If so, this could be a battle of will. With her being older, try and incorporate her into being in 'control' of the situation. Ask her what kinds of rewards she would like to work towards, have her pick out her undies. Let her drive this ship, you really are, but let her feel like she is. Read some of the previous comments, I am a big believer in natural consequences, she's made the mess, she needs to clean it up. You can cut back on some of the liquid, she is fully aware at this age how peeing feels. Do you notice that she is engaged in something specific when she has the accident? A favorite toy that she doesn't want to step away from to go pee? Consider removing those devices from her environment, tv watching is one that can get them to engrossed and forget to go pee on potty. The longer they are in diapers/pull-ups it seems harder to train. Hang in there and maybe talk to your doctor to make sure there isn't anything else going on. Try giving her some independence in this endeavor first and see how that goes. Good luck!!

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    2. Thank you so much for listening. The day after I posted this, we had a bit of a breakthrough. I cut out the extra liquid and extended the time between potty breaks to 30 mins. She has done pretty well these past couple of days and has even started telling us she has to go sometimes. She's averaging 2 accidents a day now (1 of which is always poop). Those don't bother me so much.

      She has always been well rewarded for using the potty and has always been able to pick out her treats so she has plenty of incentive. The morning after I posted I tried to make a big deal of how I couldn't wait until her little sister was a "Big Girl" like her so I didn't have to change anymore diapers. I have tried stressing the big girl thing before, but that comment seemed to hit home.

      To say she is strong willed is an understatement. She is stubborn as a mule (which sad to say she gets from me). She's also very active so I know she doesn't want to stop for potty breaks but I haven't noticed a certain activity that she has accidents during.

      I plan to take it one day at a time and not give up. I appreciate you listening and thank you for the advice.

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    3. That's great news!! Glad to hear. You are doing it Mama. Just remember to stay in track and keep going, soon you'll have a fully trained kidlet ;) Remind her often what is expected of her, or better yet, ask her. She needs to stay dry, and pee and poop on potty. Kidlets are very smart, they just need the confidence and acknowledgement that you know they are and they can do this. Great job :D

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    4. That's great news!! Glad to hear. You are doing it Mama. Just remember to stay in track and keep going, soon you'll have a fully trained kidlet ;) Remind her often what is expected of her, or better yet, ask her. She needs to stay dry, and pee and poop on potty. Kidlets are very smart, they just need the confidence and acknowledgement that you know they are and they can do this. Great job :D

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  28. Thank you for sharing this blog. I wish had come across your blog before I started, so I could have a more solid plan. I did the three-day potty training with my 22 month old son this past weekend. He was showing signs up readiness and had been telling me that needed to poo on the potty for a month. I had a long weekend and decided to jump in. Thank goodness I found your blog because I kept referencing it when we had a set back and during naps to keep me motivated.
    Day 1 was pretty good, my son was motivated to use the potty, but I still had to put him on the potty every 15-30 minutes. Day 2, I got up and was excited ... but the morning was worse that Day 1! But after nap, we didn't have any accidents! On Day 3, we had a few accidents in the morning but the afternoon was successful. Yesterday was Day 4 and it seems like he can hold his pee longer now, almost an hour!! Is this normal?
    I wouldn't say that my son is fully potty trained after the 3 day potty training because he doesn't know to tell me when he has to go potty, but he does tell me poo poo. How long does this take?

    Thank you so much for posting this bog! It kept me going when I was frustrated!

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    1. That's great to hear! Thank you. At 22 months he may not be old enough to pick up on his body cues right away but he is able to learn, and fast. If you kept him consistently on the potty for 15-30 mins for the majority of the three days with a ween off at the end, he should be potty trained. He may have an accident here and there but with regular potty break reminders (Every 1.5-2 hrs) and after eating and before leaving the house, he should be able to hold his bladder and know when he is about to pee or poop. At this time there is not a big window of time between when he says he has to go, and when he goes. You need to be attentive to his body cues, even though he isn't. Things like wiggling, pulling on private area, legs crossed, spacey. Then you run to the bathroom...fast! He will not be able to master the skill of 'holding it' for awhile, which is fine because holding your urine in isn't good for your body anyways ;) After three days he should be able to vocalize that he has to go, if not, he may not be ready. My advice, if you go a week and you still wouldn't say he is trained, he is not ready. The hardest things parents do is try and potty train for a year or more by doing the work for them. If they can't tell you when they have to go, they are not ready. Don't yo-yo back and forth and don't wait until they are 3.5 years old either. Give it a rest until he's 2.5 and do it again. At this age he is more vocal and more attune to his body and expectations of him. Gradually lengthen the time between potty breaks, pull back on liquids to normal consumption and see if he is trained or not. Best of luck, I hope this helped answer your question.

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  29. Hi! Thanks for this blog, I have been trying to figure out how long to sit on the potty and found it here!!! My son does well going tee tee in the potty BUT will NOT go poo poo- he is a routine pooper so I have sat him down when it's time and he can't or won't go he gets down and goes on the floor or a diaper? He is 27 months any ideas or advice would be appreciated!

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    1. Great news! Consistency is key! Let him know what is expected of him. Remind him often that we don't pee or poop in our undies anymore and get him on that potty every 15 minutes. Following the instructions above extremely consistently you should have a potty trained boy! There is also a great book called 'Everybody poops' tell him that Mommy & the rest of the family poops. Announce to him when you are going to go #2. Let him know it's normal. TALK ABOUT IT :) Good luck!!!

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  30. I'm not sure this would work for my son. It sounds great, and I've tried all sorts of other things but nothing seems to work for him. He's three years and five months old. He's been stubborn as hell since birth. He's the baby that never moved in the womb for the doctors. That's just who he is. You say left he goes right. He's always been that way.

    Potty training.. is a nightmare.

    We have tried everything. Bribes: M&Ms, stickers, army men, dances, songs, everything. We told him that he'll be a big boy and that means he can have apps on my tablet like big boys and a big boy bed not his toddler bed. We've told him about how all his friends go potty and they are big kids. We've talked about how wearing diapers is what babies do.

    He doesn't mind being a baby.

    I ask him when does he want to be potty trained. "I don't know" is the response.

    If I take him to the potty, he WILL go. Every time, if there is something he will go. But he will also fill up every pull up and diaper he wears. I have carpet. Naked seems .. impossible for me. I would really like my house NOT to smell like pee when someone comes over. I don't let my dog pee on my carpet I'd like my child not to pee on my carpet too. So I don't think the naked thing and even just straight undies works.

    Fluid wise he drinks a ton of fluid a day. But honestly, I don't think he even kNOWS when he's gonna go. I think he just.. goes randomly. And he does NOT care if he's wet. Example: Yesterday he's playing and he pees right down his legs and into his house shoes. Smiles right at me while he does it, then goes back to playing like he isn't standing in wet shoes. I have NO idea how anyone can stand in their own pee and be like.. heres my toys! He does NOT stay dry for two hours, heck he can barely stay dry for thirty minutes most days. He does NOT tell me when he has to go potty, he doesn't LIKE to go I have to use threats. "If we don't go to the potty I'm going to have to turn the TV off." then he'll go, and pee, and be happy, but it's not enough. No bribes are enough, no amount of song and dance... he just doesn't give a crap.

    So I"m really at a loss. Near to tears because I just know he can do it. He's SUCH a smart boy. Things he does amazes me daily. He was the last of his friends to talk. But once he did, he was full on language. Non-stop talks all the time. So I don't know if PT will be the same. I know it's like HE has to make the choice but I can't for the life of me figure out how to get HIM to want it.

    Sorry for the long post, I"m just a very frustrated Mommy.

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    1. Hi Christi,
      I just want to say again, I am not a doctor or therapist, I'm just a mom who only has the information that you have given me. So with that said, this is my advice. Have you brought him to the doctors to make sure there is nothing else going on? Reason I'm asking is because you noted that he has had some delay issues in the past. You also mentioned that your son enjoys being acting like a baby. Have you tried not giving into is 'baby' actings? Not by saying things like babies do this and that, but by NOT treating him like a baby what so ever. He IS a big boy even though he doesn't pee on the potty. Acknowledge this to him "Wow! What a big boy you are!" Don't play into his 'baby' acting, he is gaining something from pretending to be a baby, don't give him that. If he is acting like a 'baby' ignore it. Don't say 'You're acting like a baby' or acknowledge it whatsoever. Remember attention, good or bad is still attention. Ignore it. Treat him like the big boy he is in all other aspects. YOU are running the show here, not him and he needs to be very clear with that roll. You don't need to ask a toddler when he wants to potty train, it's not up to him, it's up to you to give him all the tools he needs to succeed at the task. Potty training in my opinion is not something that should happen willy nilly when it's convenient and back and forth. Meaning, if you are going to potty train, potty train. If you have a guest coming in from out of town and it's inconvenient to put on underwear and easier to just keep diapers on after underwear yesterday. This shows the child that potty training is not important. These little people are very smart, they can pick up on everything. If you are ready to commit, then he will pick it up. Lay plastic drop clothes all over your area that he is allowed to be during potty training. Try reverse rewards, not "I'll turn OFF tv if you don't go pee" try "No tv until we start going pee on the potty." Once you say it, stick with it. Every time, even if you have said something in anger and is rediculous (No TV for a week!), you need to follow through. You are very correct, he IS smart and he is paying VERY close attention ALL the time. You don't need to get him to WANT it, he's three. You need him to understand that now he needs to pee on the potty and you are going to stick by him consistently until he has figured it out. He is old enough to be accountable for what he is doing, if he pees on a toy and nothing happens, why should he stop doing that? Remove the toys he pees on, give him consequences, age appropriate of course, for his actions. Start thinking he can and he will pee on the potty. Tell him he is going to pee on the potty, get him involved, hype it up! This is exciting, this shouldn't be a nightmare. It WILL be frustrating but three days of frustration trumps months of frustration. You just need to commit. I hope that helps a little, let me know if you have any other questions. You CAN do this, he CAN do this. Keep positive, get him on board and enjoy three solid days of complete Mommy & son time!! Good luck!

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  31. Thanks!!

    I haven't taken him to the doctor because while he was the last of his group to talk, the doctors were never concerned. He hit every milestone he just didn't come OUT with it until he was right at the end of said window. You're right, I know that I probably give in too easily. Partly because my husband is of the school 'when he is ready it will just happen' I don't know if I believe that's the case with Caleb. We will see. But, we're trying again.

    Today after his nap he got excited about his Ninja Turtle underwear, so I told him that if he wears these then he can't pee on the Ninja turtles. He says he wants to wear them. We looked in the mirror and admired them getting excited. How he wears undies like daddy. Like Mommy. We talked about how he's a big boy, and he doesn't need baby things. He is big enough to pee in the potty.

    I think it IS a good idea for him to not be given the baby treatement. I'm really trying, I just get so frustrated, so I'm hoping that he really wants to. I'm expecting accidents, I'm not silly enough to think there won't be any. But, all I really want is for him to be interested in going so that we can start making it a big plan.

    Thanks for the help! I'm taking him every 30 minutes a the moment because I KNOW he can hold it for that long, usually. If he isn't guzzling drinks. So, we're trying.

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    1. Great job Momma!! You can do this, stay on track and know I'm rooting for you :D Good luck little man!!

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  32. Hi there - I've used this weekend to potty train my 26mo son. Today is our day 3. Day 1 and 2 had lots of accidents and lots of successes too. But today he went to the potty on his own 3 times to go potty. He also pooped finally in the potty, he was close to it as he was trying to go and I managed to get him on the pot before anything came out. He's also got the concept of "trying" as he'll usually tinkle each time. He also seems pretty agreeable to try. We've kept him naked from the waste down all weekend, minus naps and nighttime.

    I guess I keep seeing all these people who've potty trained in 3 days that I expected something magical to happen today. Well, today wasn't too different than day 2 as there has still been accidents. Did I just potty train my son in 3 days? Even though he still has accidents? I don't know how well we did. Since he's having accidents, does that mean I need to put him back in diapers to try it all again in another 6-8 weeks or so? I need help knowing how well we did. I just don't get it I guess.

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    1. Hi Jenny! Do NOT put him back in diapers. Keep at it. Slowly expand your time to 1hr, 2hrs and so on. You are doing excellent and son is he.Bed and long car rides may require a pull up for a bit but you are on course. After three days he will have the concept and have learned the sensation of going. He will not learn how to hold it for a length of time for sometime, meaning you can't tell him to 'hold it until we get home'. He can for a minute until you get to potty but you still need to place him frequently and seen him off of your prompting to his initiating. Accidents happen and so do set backs. Keep forging ahead, tomorrow will be a better day. You CAN do this. Stick with it Mama!!! Good luck :D

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    2. Thank you for writing back so quickly! I'm so happy you did as I was really struggling with knowing if it was worth continuing or not. And I couldn't have picked a worse time to do it, we've got a family thing away from our home tomorrow evening and Sunday. I don't know what to do with that. I was just thinking of bringing 5 changes of pants, some wipes, some old pre-fold cloth diapers to help the car seat, and his potty tomorrow night. Poor guy, I wonder if he'll have a set back due to all the activity and things tomorrow night. I don't know.

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    3. Yeah tough time, but what can you do. Bring a change of clothes and put a potty in the car. Set a timer to the length of time he can last on your phone and continue at your family dinner. He may have a set back due to all the excitement (which leads to him not paying attention to his body) but if you stay on track and stay committed and show him that this is important to you and there is no going back to being a baby anymore you will thank yourself in the long run. By being wishy washy and putting him back in pullups or diapers here and there, you are showing him that this really isn't that important and you'll end up in a tug of war as he gets older. You've got a great plan, stay calm and focused and if you stick to the plan, there is a VERY good chance he will too! Merry Christmas :)

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  33. Question: on day three with no accidents today so far. We did leave the house yesterday for about an hour and she went to the potty at the neighbors... Two accidents yesterday and the day before. What do I do about leaving the house after the 3rd day? Go for short periods of time and bring the potty chair with us? Also - she starts back to Mother's Day Out next Monday... how do I handle panties, etc? One more thing - am traveling next week for five hours... do you recommend stopping every hour and trying the potty chair? First time training... so far so good! Thanks!

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    1. Hi Christina, looks as though you guys are doing great! When you leave the house from this day forward you should do as you do at home, she should be in underwear and if you need a little extra protection a plastic pant over-top for any accidents. Where ever you go, make sure she is using potty before you leave and if an extended car ride, once you arrive. For long distance travel, make sure you have access to a potty at all times or bring a potty. I had a potty in the back of my van for many years. There are also some great disposable toilet seat covers that are printed with characters and they stick onto a public toilet while your child uses it, if the public bathroom part bothers you. I'm assumming Mothers Day Out is a daycare type situation were you drop her off and have a few hours to get stuff done, if this is the case, you will need to check with the facility and see what there policy is, if up to you, have her just wear her undies like at home, if not and she needs a barrier, go for a plastic pant cover over undies instead of a pullup as they are more like a diaper and she will have no idea if she leaked due to absorbancy, but they will do if policy. Traveling? Again, potty in car and stop frequently :) I think that was all the questions. Good luck & great job Mama!!

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  34. We are on day 2 and my daughter seems to just want to sit on the potty for hours. I keep asking her if she wants to come off and play and she says she wants to stay on. Last time I asked her she said to 'leave me alone'. What do you think. I don't want to give her mixed messages by taking her off when she wants to be on but she's been on ages x

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    1. Hi Clare, only leave your daughter on the potty for a maximum of 5 minutes. Remember you are the boss and you are running the show. After 5 minutes if she has not gone potty, take her off, no questions asked and tell her she did a great try. Set the timer for the allotted time she is currently at and repeat when that goes off. If she tells you to leave her alone again, explain to her calmly that that is rude and to please not speak to you that way (yes, she can understand this at her age, even if she still tells you it 50 more times, remind her 50 more times not to ;)) and leave it at that, she's little, you're the boss and you're not going anywhere. By sitting on the potty for that length of time she is not learning anything about her body ques and routine. 5 minutes on then off. Good luck!!

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    2. Thanks Shantelle. She is no longer wanting to stay on for ages. We had no accidents yesterday (day 3). There were some today but she was at nursery so I assume she's just getting used to the new place x

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  35. Hi Shantalle. so we are now on day 14 and wee's are sorted. No accidents for over a week. Poos on the other hand are no where near. It's in her pants pretty much every day. Any advice? xx

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    1. Great news Clare! As far a pooping goes, I love the book "Everyone Poops" http://www.amazon.ca/Everyone-Poops-Taro-Gomi/dp/0916291456 Here's a video of the book, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhbxpuBi-HU Also, do lots of talking about pooping. I poop, Daddy poops, Grandma Grandpa. Pay attention to actions she does while pooping. Does she hide, make a face, at a certain time each day. Tell her when you are going poop, let her come and sit in the bathroom with you. Let her see that big girls poop on potty too. Maybe introduce a larger reward that she can have if she does 3 poops on the potty. Try those tips and keep me posted :D

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  36. I'm about to start potty training my 28 month old daughter. What do you do at night? The three day process with every 15 minutes is during the day only....

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    1. Hi Krista, at night you do a pull-up and don't even worry about that at the same time. Once she is fully potty trained she will start to wake up in the morning dry and that will be your que to go ahead and do night time training. When you DO do night time training she will pee before bed and then wake her up to go pee before you go to bed or in the middle of the night and once she has that mastered you can move past that and just to before bed and in morning. For daytime training every 15 mins Day One and Day Two move to twenty minutes by end of day and then 30 mins by end of Day Three. She will still need constant reminders after day three until she starts giving you the ques. Week by week, increase time between breaks :) Good Luck!

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  37. Hi. This site is so helpful! We've just started the process with my 2.7 YO daughter ( who I think was ready about a year ago, but I've always thought, diapers are so much easier than the alternative!).
    I have 2 questions:
    1. She still takes a 2 hour or so nap every day. Can/should we put a diaper on for that time?
    2. She's been telling us/hiding when she has to poop for the last 6 months (its pretty gross when she's under the table at a restaurant). She did poop in the potty once when we were 'practicing' a few months ago. She cried during it, but I made big happy deal, and gave her a big present. Unfortunately she's not gone again in the potty since.
    I guess I'm not sure how much to push (no pun)--and I don't want her to get backed up...
    thoughts?
    thanks, Katherine

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    1. Hi Katherine, Thanks so much!
      1. No more diapers, get rid of them. During nap and bedtime, put a pullup on her. Call them "bedtime undies", you want her thinking they are the same thing, except her body will not be ready for nighttime training until she has mastered day time potty routines. You will know she is ready for night time potty training when she starts waking up dry very frequently.
      2. Hiding to poop is very common. Do you allow her in the bathroom when you are pooping? (You don't need to actually answer that ;)) If you don't, try that. Seems weird, but you want her to understand that it's totally normal and not embarrassing. There is a great book called 'Everybody poops'. Announce to her when you are going poop and have others in the family do the same. No time to be shy ;) Continue with separate extra special rewards for her poop victories. Talk about peeing and pooping ALL THE TIME. This will help her feel comfortable and hopefully pull her out of hiding. If she is on the potty and you think that maybe she needs to poop, ask her if she would like some privacy. If she says yes, just step outside the door and pull it mostly closed with a crack so you can still peek in on her. This may help as well, at least she is getting the privacy in the right spot. Consistency in the key every time! Good luck!!

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  38. Hi, I want to start potty training my 25 month son. I´m not sure he is totally ready, he understands the concept, seems interested but doesn´t exactly tells me before he goes. We are also having two trips coming in the next month. On the other side he is starting school in two months and having a sibling in 5 months. I don't know exactly the best time to start due to the many changes, I would like to do it one month after starting school and 2 before the new baby comes. I want some advice. Thank you so much

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    1. Hi Daniela,
      Wow, you have a lot on your plate. My advice is this, if your son isn't ready, he's not ready. That's the thing about these little ones, they have their own time line ;) From a BIG persons perspective, you have a lot going on, from your son's perspective, it's 10x more. With all this change it is very easy for him to have a set back, too much new at once. When you say school, do you mean daycare? He's just two correct? I would suggest waiting until after he starts school and is adjusted to the new baby (as well as you) to begin potty training. Congrats and Good Luck! Remember that it's not a race to the finish line, he will be ready soon but let him get accustomed to his new life before introducing yet another big step like potty training :)

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  39. I get frustrated when i tried to potty yrain my 2 year old daughter. So i just got pampers and pull ups. I had jer usining it real well until daddy came along and messed up the process. I was only getting pull ups and she ran out and daddy got pampers. Instead of helping daddy usually makes the process longer. So i will try it this weekend when i am off that way daddy is at work. Pull ups only at night.
    I will keep you updated on the process.
    Thanks!

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    1. Good luck! It is always hard when your partner isn't on the same page. :(

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  40. Hi Shantelle,
    I have a question. My dauther tells me she has to poop so we go to the toilet. we sit there and she says all done as soon as she feels the poops start to come out its like she pulls it back in. i put the pull up back on her and within minutes she poops in her pull up. its like she scared of the poop leaving her body (sometimes she freaks out and tries to rush of the toilet befre anything comes out) any suggestions??

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    1. Hi Mallory,
      My suggestion would be showing her your poop in the potty, seems gross but that's what us mommy's do. Tell her you are pooping and show her you pooped after you're done. Explain to her that you let it all come out in potty. Second, get her a book about pooping and read it A LOT. 'Everybody Poops' is a great book that I read to my children. The illustrations are funny but informative. No time to be shy during potty training! Third, get rid of the pull-up. Pull-ups are not good a helping children learn the signs of getting used to their body. She will not like a load of poop in her big girl undies, weighing them down. Pull-ups are just diapers in disguise. Good luck!

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  41. Hi there. I'm sure this question has been answered above but I'd rather ask than read them all. Do you have any tips for nap and night time dry and clean?

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    1. Hi Daysha,
      Work on mastering the daytime before you merge into naps and nighttime. Once the daytime is mastered you can then move onto naps and night. Naps, go pee right before going down. At night pee right before bed and wake in the middle of the night to have them pee. After doing this for about a month with no accidents, you can faze out the middle of the night pee break. Also, don't rush it. Take a que from child starting to wake up time and time again dry. If they are wet every morning, give it a bit of time. Remember to cut fluids about 2 hrs before bedtime (at night, not nap). Good luck!

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  42. Hi there!
    I've just done 3 days of bottomless potty training with my almost 3 year old son. He did great and will now go to the potty and pee or poo when he has to. We've had a small pee accident on day 4, but otherwise it's been great. I'm still using the timer to remind us both, but he will go independently of the timer as well.
    I might have made a mistake in going naked from the waist down, because I'm unsure what the next step is. I'm afraid he'll go in undies if I put them on now. And, I don't want to confuse him. My fear was that they'd feel like diapers and he'd go in them or that he wouldn't go to the potty himself because he might not be able to get the undies down.
    He's going to be going to 3 hours of summer camp in 3 weeks a few days a week. I'm hoping to have it all figured out by then. What would you suggest I do now? Should I start undies tomorrow and stay home for a few more days? Thanks for the help!

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    1. Hi Alison, You can try just leaving his undies off and just putting his pants on and gradually moving to undies (a little bit each day) Have him pick them out and explain that he gets to wear them now because he's a big boy. If he fusses or starts having accidents, remove undies and try again the next day OR just put him in the undies and don't worry about it. Undies feel NOTHING like diapers. Diapers are cumbersome and restrictive. Undies are freeing, he likely won't notice them. Good luck and great job!

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  43. My 30-month-old is terrified of potties and toilets. When I try to get him to sit on a potty or toddler toilet seat, he screams bloody murder. I don't know what to do. We have tried since he was a little less than two, but each time his phobia beats me down.

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    1. Hi Hettie,
      Have you taken a break from potty training? He may just not be ready. Take a month or two off and start again. If that doesn't help, I would see a physician. Good luck!

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  44. Hello!

    We went diaper-less with my 2 year old son 2 days ago and he has had NO accidents. Sounds great, doesn't it? The problem is that he simply does not pee or poo at all until he gets his nap diaper or his night-time diaper. I don't know what to do about it. We give him plenty to drink and eat, but he just will not go until he has his diaper. My husband and I both take him to the potty with us when we go (and do a dance for each other when we go). I put him on his potty when he does a little leg bending that he does when he needs to hold his pee, he doesn't fight me, but he doesn't pee. Please help me!

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    1. Hi Ellie, this is interesting that he is not peeing or pooping at all. Sometimes if children hold there urine it can be a sign of infection. You could try keeping him in undies at nap so he doesn't have a choice to wait for diaper. I wouldn't try that more than once since holding for too long can be dangerous. I would take him to the doctor if he still isn't going after 2 days. This one has me stumped so I would seek professional advice. Good luck & sorry I wasn't more of help.

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    2. Shantalle,

      You tried! Funny thing is, I am a doctor (albeit not a pediatrician). He has no other signs of infection or obstruction, he is just determined to not pee. His capacity to hold is amazing! I've also tried running water in the bathroom (if he is on the big pot) and dunking his hand in warm water (sometimes that helps with babies with neurogenic bladders)... I might try the undies at nap time, but my fear was that he would hold it still some more, and like you said, that can be dangerous...OR that i will have a huge mess in his bedroom and he will feel shame/fear of going to sleep in his crib...

      I have been thinking about it and think that maybe i'll buy one of those awful cheap plastic underwear things and put that on him, that way when he pees he will be uncomfortable and maybe will choose to go on the potty instead. Does that sound like a good idea?

      Thanks!

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    3. Ellie, does he not have anything on his bum? He may be holding it if you have him naked and he may be confused. Put undies on with the plastic cover and make him uncomfortable. You don't want him to be comfortable or he'll just pee in the comfort ;) He won't become scared or ashamed unless he is made to feel that way. If he has an accident in his bed just tell him it's ok and accidents happen. Clean up and move on. Get a mattress cover and you have easy clean up. Also try having him potty train a doll or his fav stuffy. Teaching is always the best way to learn :)

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    4. Shantalle,
      We went bare-bottom (i wanted the undies to be a reward for going in the potty), but I'll try the undies + plastic cover combo and let you know how it goes. Thank you!!! Now, this is day 2 of the method described above, do you think I should start over tomorrow or finish the method bare-bottom and then try again with undies in a few weeks?

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    5. Nope, don't regress. Just start with undies in the morning or now if you're in the middle of the day. Don't go backwards because he'll think that if he doesn't pee in the potty he gets to go back to diapers. They're smart little gaffers ;) Let me know how it goes :D

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  45. Hi Shantalle,
    I went thru Day 1 with my 27-month daughter with so so many accidents as expected. The thing is when I notice her cue to pee, tell her that she is feeling peepee coming, and whisk her at that moment to the potty which is right next to her, she'd hold it, then after few minutes stand up and pee a little bit then run away from the mess, then i clean, then she drips again. It was getting frustrating but i tried to stay calm and told her that peepee needs to be made in potty and reads her the Potty book and all. What should i do to keep her sit and pee all of it then stand up? I was able to get her to do this 2 times only, while cleaning up the other 50 times of tiny messes. She'd say "it's ok" and run away after peeing on floor, and I'd tell her "it's not ok to pee on floor. Peepee stays in potty". I do all the sticker, and praise and dance and a Skittle for any peepee in the potty. She is getting more conscientious of her need to go, i think, as she tries to hold it by wiggling, but she doesn't seem to be comfortable going in the potty. Is this normal? Because of this, i haven't had to set the timer much, since she keeps dripping before timer goes off, then i'm glued to her to catch the next dripping and so on. I'm determined not to give up yet, but would like yo know if this is expected and what to do. Thanks. Tan

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    1. Hi Tan,
      Day 1 feels like you want to rip your head off and throw in the towel. My son would sit on potty, not go and then as soon as he was on the carpet, voila! Just stick with it. She has had 27 months of training to NOT pee when her diaper is off. Have her do something to occupy her while on the potty, NOT ELECTRONIC, something like reading the potty book to you or another favorite book or telling you a story. Have her help with cleaning up her mess, make her accountable for her actions, she'll get really bored of this quick but you have to let her do the work. Make sure she is wearing undies between potty times. You want her to feel the uncomfortable when she pees in her undies so she knows not to do that. This is totally normal. Day 2 will have a little more small victories and Day 3 more. Stick with it, I know it is incredibly frustrating but so is casually training for a year. You can do it Momma, you are doing all the right things catching her cues and getting her to potty. Also try having her potty train a favorite dolly or stuffy of hers. Good luck, stick with it and I'd love to here how she does. Great job so far!

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    2. Day 2 - Thanks so much for your quick response Shantalle. I did as you said, put her in undies and made her clean up. She did not have as many drippings today. However, we had a new situation - She was drooling a lot; could be cutting molar. I did notice this but kept on trying and of course was met with resistance. We only had 1 success when I took her to bathroom with me and had her sit on her potty while I peed. When her pee came, her reaction was to stand up, so I had to hold her down and she went a good amount. Despite praise and prizes, she had no cooperation after that and actually got quite upset while I tried to hold her down, despite books or movie (i know you had said no electronic; this was desparate) I am sure it is the drooling thing (and it had to happen today right!!!). Tomorrow I thought I will proceed as if it were actual day 2 and see how the drooling does. If she still shows resistance I guess I'd have to delay the mission. Just thought to let you know as it helps to write down my progress and release some tension (understated). Thanks again.

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  46. Hi Shantalle, I plan to use the described method to train my 30 month old this weekend. What to do at nap time? Put on a pull up or just leave her in the undies?

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    1. Hi Chinwe, at nap and bedtime put her in a pull-up. She needs to master the daytime potty before you can concentrate on the sleeping. Once she is trained in the day and can go potty without the reminders, move onto the sleep training. Good luck!

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    2. Thanks Shantalle! And do you think it would be ok to have a friend over who has an 8 month old son over for a few hours during the weekend when we are going through the 3 day process or would that be too distracting for my daughter?

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    3. I would not. There should be no distractions for you or her. Seems trivial but no one in or out for three days. Good luck!!

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    4. So we used Memorial Day weekend as our kickoff to potty training and have had success. We find that outside is difficult to pull away from the toys and accidents happen. A few questions: how long does it typically take for a 2 year old to take more of a lead

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    5. Hi! Just wanted to let you know that my two and a half year old is now potty trained yeah!! She will initiate and say when she needs to pee pee or poo poo in the potty. I thought this was going to be a long drawn out thing but it was not that bad. She's sleeping with pull ups at nap time and at night, most times at nap time she wakes up dry, so soon we'll just keep her in her underwear. Thank you, yay!

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    6. Oh that's so great Chinwe!! Congratulations :D

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  47. Also, when should we try to start night time training? Does naptime dry start first because she has had a couple of dry nap times this week? We are at about week 7 of this process. She is waking up very wet most mornings still, even after going right before bath time and also going potty in the morning. Thanks for your help!

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    1. Hi Amy, I depends on each child as far as how long more of a lead happens, sometimes a month, sometimes more. You'll naturally start to allow her to lead as you get more 'No' to 'Do you have to go potty?'. Nighttime potty will take awhile, don't do too many new things at once, that is overwhelming for them. If she is waking up for naps 90% of the time dry, put her in undies for nap. Same with nighttime, once she starts waking up 90% of the time dry, you can do night training. You will need to wake her half way through the night to go for a few weeks but will be much more of a pro at knowing her body. My 5 year old sometimes still is in such a deep sleep that she doesn't just get up and go pee she just cries (she is sleeping still) if I calm her in case it's a dream (still asleep) and she starts to cry again I know that she actually has to go pee but isn't fully waking up so she cries as a cue. I know to wake her up and send her to the bathroom. Every child has there idiosyncrasies, she'll naturally let you know when it's time to loosen the reins a little and what her quirks are going to be :) Great job Momma!

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    2. Thanks for the great advise. Good point about too many changes at once is overwhelming. We just took the side off of the crib so the bed is now a day bed. I'll take the daytime progress as success. On other thing...how long do you do

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  48. How long do you do potty treats? How do you recommend eliminating the potty treats?

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    1. She'll naturally stop asking for them, she'll forget as will you, just go with that and they will faze out. If she forgets don't remind her, she'll remember then forget and just go with it.

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  49. I have twin boys who will be 30 months old when I start potty training in November. This is my first time potty training ever. I'm scared to death! After reading several things online I see that at this age most say to day, nap and night train all at once?! That seems like a lot to take in for these two guys. They are just now putting more words together and have always been a few months behind their peers on milestones. Do you think we should just do daytime and then after how many weeks start nap/night time? I also have 220 pullups stockpiled because that is how I thought you were supposed to potty train! :( Also how do you reward one twin when the other does not go? I don't want to take away from the one who does go by giving brother a piece of candy when he did not go but then again I know brother is going to throw a big fit if he does not get what brother gets! My gut says to let him throw a fit and work through it by explaining why brother is getting a treat. Your opinion?!

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    1. Go with your gut Mama!! You are right on the money. Doing ALL the training at once is too much for them. You need to focus on day training and once they have mastered that, move to night/nap training. They will likely steer the way for night/nap training by waking often, dry. As far as rewards go, you reward who does the good deed. If one uses potty and other doesn't (and doesn't get a reward) you can bet they won't want that to happen to many times. You can't reward the other for nothing, they won't get the point of using potty=rewards. Let the other throw a fit. You actually have a gem of a situation here. One will mimic the other so use it to your advantage. Good luck and let me know if you have any other questions :)

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    2. UPDATE: Started PTing my twin boys Nov 7 @ 2 1/2yrs old. It's been almost 2 weeks now and they are doing good! I just need some advise on how I continue. They do not tell me when they have to go poo or pee and if they do it's less than 50% of the time so currently I still take them for potty breaks every 30min-1hr or if I see signs. They are resisting the potty breaks sometimes. Do I just let them wet/poo their pants and not make them go to potty breaks until they understand or do I continue to make them take potty breaks?

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  50. I'm on day three with my 20 month old sonand today is just like yesterday. He's dry at nap time and peed on the potty half the time but the other half he peed minutes after getting off the potty or he peed every five or ten minutes and I don't catch it in time. He has a poker face so I don't know until he starts and tells me "potty". I don't think he's going to have the full hang of it by today. Any advice you give me would be amazing!

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    1. Hi Michelle, A few questions, how long between potty breaks, how long does he stay on potty, what is he doing while on the potty (ie reading) and what are his rewards?

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  51. My timer was set for fifteen minutes the first day and thirty for the second and third . We read books and sins songs that's why I lose track of time sometimes and he's on there for eight minutes sometimes ten cause of the reading. His reward is a lot of praise, high fives, a good job peeing on potty song and dance and 1 m-n-m for pee 2 m-n-ms for poop in potty.

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    1. I'm going to say he may not be ready. He's not even 2 yet. If you are doing all of those great things to set him up for success and he is making zero progress and not getting the hang of it. I would say his age may be a factor.

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  52. Hi. I'm trying to train my 27 month old son for past week but have not been succesful. The only time he has sucesses is when I take him to potty. Otherwise he keeps on wetting himself. .. I'm at my wits end and don't know how to proceed. .. maybe hes just not 'listening 'to what I say ? He needs to go back to daycare tomorrow and I'm not sure what to do.

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    1. I think I replied to this, please let me know if not and you're still having trouble. Thanks

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  53. Hi Shantalle
    Thanks for the wonderful article! I am planning to try this with my 29 month old son this weekend. Yes in a day's time. Have read your article several times and given to my husband to read as well so that we are on the same page on the training day. Feeling a bit worried though as I can't imagine my little boy sitting on the potty every 15 minutes. He is way to restless and active. He does sit on the potty in the mornings usually with clothes on and most times the telly is on too. This lasts for something like 5-10 minutes. So, I have two questions -
    1. Is it ok to switch on the tv if he absolutely does not agree to sit on potty with any other way? Or does that not count as he would not be too aware of what is happening?
    2. Does it work to give a treat to him for making him sit on the potty and not only for actually doing something in the potty? My husband thinks that treats are to be reserved only for a success but am way to worried about making him sit in the first place?
    Hoping to hear from you before the d-day. Thanks again!

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    1. I think I replied to this, please let me know if not and you're still having trouble. Thanks

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  54. Hi Shantelle

    Thanks so much for your quick response. We are on day two today. Yesterday went well. He did not resist sitting on the potty every 15 minutes as I was dreading. Kept him entertained with a book or puzzle and did not have to use the tv even once. Today however has been more challenging and I have to coax him a bit more to get on the potty.
    We had several hits on the potty yayy!! He is running to the potty as soon as he does a pee and wets his undies and tells us that he needs to sit in the potty. Although he can't make it to the potty before peeing in his pants. He did that for poo as well today but managed to reach the potty in time. However, I am wondering at what stage will he be able to control - I mean to know that he has to pee, come and tell me, wait for his pants to be pulled down, sit on the potty and then pee? Is this achievable in three days too or will it take more time. I am trying to explain him nicely everytime that he needs to sit on potty and then pee but I guess it's too much to expect him to be able to control. He might have to go to daycare on day 4 because of my work situation :(
    Rewards - stickers and chocolate worked on a few occasions however, the reward that he is most enjoying is the potty song and dance that me n daddy are doing for him after every hit. He is super excited by it!!
    Cheers,
    Surbhi

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    1. I think I replied to this, please let me know if not and you're still having trouble. Thanks

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  55. This is a great article. I’ve read in many
    other places before that but
    I did not get this type of effective and
    more useful text. It is really important now to
    vary your anchors as this seems more natural to user.
    This article helped me a lot to understand information.

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  57. PARENTS READ THIS UPDATE!!!!

    So I had posted in Dec when we just started this that we thought we were making a mistake and our 27month old son wasn't ready (as everyone had warned us).

    GUESS WHO'S POTTY TRAINED?! Here's our adventure, for anyone who is wanting to try this:
    Days 1-4 were HELL! We went naked from the waist down. I seriously questioned our decision to do this, and we were all frustrated. We tried to put him in underwear Day 3 but he just kept peeing in them. Day 4-5 we put him cammando in pants (no undies) and Day 5 he really began to "get it". The following week accidents were very few, we started to leave the house for short durations. We always followed the routine of a potty sit before and after leaving the house, and counted to ten just to sit there.

    Now at the end of the two weeks here's where we are: he is 99% accurate when asked if he needs to go; he does a potty dance and holds himself, but doesn't always need to go (i think he is learning how to gauge the sensation of needing to go and how badly); more than 50% of the time he will go when prompted (before meals, before we leave the house). He is holding his pee until we get home. He has now gone 2 for 2 of dry days at daycare, and is getting comfortable going with his teachers. New/public toilets are still a little scary but with a lot of reassurance and hugs he will at least do a potty sit.

    We are so AMAZED by him, and wouldn't believe it if we hadn't seen it for ourselves.

    Couple things: one thing that REALLY helped was that we went to the medical supply store and bought the white urine basins that sit inside the toilet to measure output - this way he could SEE the results (and his stream is so little that its hard to always hear it), then we got to make a real big deal about dumping it in the potty and flushing. We chose to not use the small/portable potties, though we have one in the care. We sometimes use a potty ring but trying to get him used to going without it.

    He has pooped on the potty a couple times, but prefers to poop in his pull-up during nap/bedtime. Fine with me.

    A HUGE THANK YOU Shantelle for your knowledge, and THANK YOU to all you who posted above!!!
    We could not be more proud of our little guy, and wonderful to see how proud he is of himself.

    This CAN be done!!
    Best wishes, Jenn

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    1. That's so great Jenn!!! Great job mommy, it really is one of the most stressful times your first go around but you stuck with it and VIOLA! So glad I could over some information for you :D

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  58. It's been little over 2 months since I started potty training my twin boys (2 1/2yrs old) and one was doing awesome no accidents and would tell me when he had to go pee/poo, the other would go pee but would poo his pants unless I caught him in time. Now all of a sudden the one that was doing awesome is pooing and peeing in his pants?!!?! It's very hard for me not to get upset with him because I know he knows better and was doing so good for over 6 weeks. We have not had any major changes so not sure what is going on. We use underwear except for nap and night time then we use a pull up and they usually wake wet from night. Any suggestions? Online says I should not tell him that is a no no or bad but say oh you had an accident lets try harder next time to make it. ??? HELP I feel like we just erased everything we worked so hard to do. :(

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    1. Couple of things here, first, training twins is double the work and double the effort and double the stress. It is harder to train twins than one, why? Because they want to be individuals but they also observe what is happening to their sibling and want to try that on for size. The twin that didn't catch on as quick, lets call him Twin B, what was your reaction to him when he had an accident? Did you get upset with Twin B like you are with Twin A (the well trained one)? If not, Twin A could be regressing for attention. Even negative attention is attention. I know all the therapists and physiologists say to not get mad and not tell your child "Bad!" but I do understand the frustration of potty training as well. However, maybe we can change the words you are using. I am not a doctor or psychologist, just a mom and daycare provider that has trained many of kidlets. So when you feel yourself boiling and about to shout "Bad!", ,make sure the boys are in a safe place and walk away and take a few minutes to calm yourself. I actually have no problem with telling a child no. He shouldn't have peed or pood his pants so a reminder that he's not supposed to do that and leave it at that. Personally saying things like "next time we'll try harder" is not a good way to speak to a child. It's demeaning and you wouldn't say that to an adult, could you imagine someone telling you to try "harder" next time? That wouldn't fly so well with most. Anyway, try something like this in a calm but serious tone:
      Accident occurs "Twin A, you know you are supposed to tell Mommy when you have to go to the bathroom and not pee/poop in your pants, right?" "Lets go clean you up and next time you have to go lets race to the potty so we don't have an accident." This way you are addressing what he did, telling him it's not acceptable and offering a solution all while not giving him any negative or positive attention. You're just stating the facts and moving on. This will happen several times before he understands that having accidents isn't so fun anymore and mommy is not participating in the 'game' anymore. Be stern but calm and just get to the facts. Tell him "We're not having accidents anymore, we're just going on the potty. That's it!" He may be just testing a seeing what he can get away with. Do not use Twin B who is moving along as guilt to Twin A neither, creating competition like that is not good neither. Leave Twin B out of it and focus on each separately and individually. Good luck Mama and I hope I helped a bit and please let me know how they both make out. You can do this!!

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  59. Thank you so much for posting your method. It is great and exactly what I was looking for. I am on day two of training our 23 month old daughter. Day one went well (3 accidents and lots of successes). Day two we seem to be having some problems. We have only had 2 accidents but she is very resistant to going to try on the potty. She will stay sitting down to try (I have tried books, songs, etcetera). She cries and wants to leave. I have adjusted the timer for day 2 to 30 minutes. The thing is if Daddy takes her she will sit no problem. I would just have Daddy do it but my husband is very sick. He has been in and out of the hospital for the last 8 months and when he is home he is usually in bed. He tries to help but just can't 99% of the time.
    I think she is more compliant with him because I am the one who does everything and he is more the fun person who is around for a few minutes here and there. Any advise is appreciated. Thanks!

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    1. Hi Mom2One, have you tried putting the potty beside the bed that your husband is in? If she goes near him, he can still participate in the congratulations and she may be more willing to sit if she thinks Daddy will be so proud. I potty trained mine in the kitchen, so as long as you can move it, do it ;) Give that a try and I am sorry to hear that your husband has been so sick. I wish him health and recovery in 2015!

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  60. Hi Shantalle, question: Our 28month old son is consistently peeing in the potty. When it comes to pooping, he prefers to hold it until he goes to bed in his pull-up. We end up changing a poopy pull-up almost every night when we check him before we go to bed. This is turn has made him much more constipated, and therein more uncomfortable. He definitely recognizes when he needs to poop, but isn't quite comfortable/ready to do it on the potty. We are actually ok with where we are in this, but my question is should we be doing something more to promote pooping in the potty? Or do we have to wait until we are ready for night-time training to address the pooping after bedtime in his pull-up. Thanks!

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    1. Hi Jenn,
      Ask him if he needs privacy. Some kidlets need to be alone to poop. Just wait outside the door so you can hear him and he may go. Try that, also try a book called 'Everybody poops'. It's a great book that shows that all animals and people need to poop and it has pictures (drawn) of them doing so. Kidlets find it hilarious because there is actually plops of poop in book. Talking about things makes them normal and not uncomfortable. Tell him when you're pooping. Mommy's don't get the advantage of privacy in the bathroom for quite some time ;) Good luck!

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  61. Shantalle,
    I just wanted to say thank you so much! We are wrapping up day 3 and have had no accidents since early in day 2. She was even totally dry for her nap both days. The idea of moving her closer to Daddy worked awesome and now we are back in the bathroom and things are great. At 23 months it took us 3 days with only 3 accidents and we have been peeing and pooping with no accidents for well over 24 hours. She is so proud of herself and I am so impressed with her. Thanks for your ideas and feedback!

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  62. Hi Shantalle, we're in need of your sage wisdom again :) Our 28month old son has been doing great on the potty with going pee (we started 8 weeks ago). And we're making slow progress (per your above advise) on pooping in the potty. But now I have a two-part question that we really need some guidance on:
    1) He has pretty much stopped telling us when he needs to go pee. In the beginning he told us (and often, we went all the time), and now he never tells us. If we ask him if he needs to go potty on a regular, consistent basis, he usually tells us "no". If we initiate and take him, he usually has no problem going on command. We are in the routine of taking him potty before we leave the house, and he holds it very well for short trips out of the house (that's my next question). But if i don't actively take him potty, he will just get more and more wet until he has a full blown accident. Often he is damp, and I always point that out to him to help him recognize that he needs to go. So, thoughts on how to get him to take more initiative? I feel like we went backwards one step.
    2) He has the typical "afraid of public bathrooms" issue right now. He will go at home, and at nursery school, but I can't get him to even sit somewhere else without him melting down. He says "its scary" and clings to me. We always let him watch us go to the bathroom wherever we are. But he gets so upset as soon as we go near another toilet, even at someone's house. This week I'm trying to start a game where I brought a bag of Cheerios to the gym and after I got him to calm down, all I asked him was to help throw Cheerios into the potty. I rewarded him with a couple M&Ms. He still got quite upset. In a month we are going to travel by plane to visit family, and I have no idea how we're going to deal with going potty at the airport, and in other places without lots of accidents.
    As always, you're info is so helpful, and I've shared your blog with all my mommy friends (who just can't believe we potty trained our son). Thank!!

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    1. Hi Jenn, so sorry this has taken forever to get back to. Hopefully you have had success in the time being but just keep at him and being the initiative, he's just being lazy and will pick it up. As for public toilet fear, try talking to him about why it's scary. Is the toilet cold, does he feel like it's so big and he might fall in? They make foldable portable potty seats now that you can try if it is a falling in fear. They are also rather loud. Does he not like the flushing sound? Have him leave stall before you flush. As for other peoples houses, not sure what would have him scared. Anything different with the routine when you're there? Ask him, you might be surprised what he tells you ;)

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  64. How about night time? I know that comes later but what is your approach?

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    1. Sorry I didn't get back sooner Jessica. you'll know when they are ready for night time transition as they start waking up most mornings dry. For the first week or so, wake them before you go to bed and have them go potty at that time.

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  65. I have three girls 4.5, 25 months, and 3 months. I am trying to potty train the 25 month old. She is way different then my four year old. That being said I started Saturday potty training. Today is Monday and she is still having accidents 4 accidents and 3 successes today. She is not saying she has to go. Also she isn't wanted to drink don't think she has caught on to that link. Any advice would be great thanks

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    1. Hi Tonya, although this is not what you want to hear, I think she may just not be ready yet. Give her another couple months and try again. Every kidlet is different and advances at different times.

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  66. Update potty training started to be successful. She pees on the potty asks to go almost every time. Poop isn't perfect she has went but usually after she poops she says she has to go potty. Any advice would be appreciated.
    Thank you for your article and advice.

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    1. At this age, kidlets don't pee and poop at the same time like we do. They are just learning to control those muscles independently still, so together won't come for a bit. When she says she has to go, bring her to potty. They are still learning the different sensations down there from a pee to an itch to a poop or a toot ;) Keep plugging away!

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    2. At this age, kidlets don't pee and poop at the same time like we do. They are just learning to control those muscles independently still, so together won't come for a bit. When she says she has to go, bring her to potty. They are still learning the different sensations down there from a pee to an itch to a poop or a toot ;) Keep plugging away!

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  68. Withholding poop ends in pooping in underwear and everyone gets stressed out and upset. Maybe I started them too soon on PT? twins are 3yrs 2 months now and we started your plan when they were 2 1/2yrs old. Twin A is doing great and will poo and pee on potty chair and will stay dry for naps but at night wears training pants. Twin B will pee on potty chair and if he poos on potty chair it's luck of the draw during poo poo break time with ipad but other times he poos in his pants and I can watch him trying to withhold his poo but can't then poos in his pants and can't make it to the bathroom before the accident. I've tried rewards and praise when he does go poo in potty but it's not working. I don't think it's good to sit on potty for 20-30 minutes with ipad either in hopes of catching his poo. He is on Miralax once a day 1/2 cap, so his poo is soft and not hard(used to be a problem so dr said use miralax). maybe having hard stools early on made him withhold because it hurt but now it's soft. My hubby and I are both getting very frustrated and it's not healthy for twin B. Trying everything to get his attention we have given him timeouts, taken away toys/privilages and that is not working and I feel bad for him that he is "getting into trouble" for pooing in his pants. I know he knows better and he knows where to go poo so why is he having this problem? One thing I found online said to STOP PT and put a pull up on 100% of the time for 2 weeks and just take a break and take the pressure and stress off of him and us. Nobody get mad when he makes an accident in his pants, just change him and let him know it's ok to poop. ? Your thoughts on how we should proceed with Twin B?

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    1. Hi Leslie, training twins is a whole different ball game, as is with all their milestones typically. You have been training for a very long time. I know you must be frustrated at this point but try and not get stressed or angry or say anything about how great twin A is doing to twin B. Having twins they likely are looking for attention and good or bad, attention is attention. I would at this point try and take a few steps back. Fear of pooping is normal especially since he has had a painful experience with it. Get him on the potty more frequently for a minute or so, don't leave him there long, just a try and then on with it. I would say every hour have him sit and try. If he does soil himself, have him clean it up and have him throw out those precious undies (if you find he thinks they're really a big kid thing, if he has no interest in them, skip this part but still have him be responsible for the mess). See if he wants the door closed when he pooping? He may want privacy. Ask him if he'd like you to hold his hand, he may be scared it'll hurt. Take the pressure off him and you, don't get him in trouble but let him know he is not to poop in his pants and try some of the above. You can also consult your pediatrician, if for nothing else a little reassurance that his ok and will get it. Hang in there and try some of those things. Good luck!

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  69. We have been following the above method all day in our first attempt at potty training my 22-month-old daughter. She is my first child and I really don't know what I'm doing, but I've been pretty closely following the directions above. We have had 12 accidents and 5 successes with about an hour left to go until bed. Most of her successes were early in the day. We've gone downhill since lunchtime. She really doesn't seem to care about being wet. She notices when she's going, but won't say anything. I even asked her if she was "making peepee" while I was looking at it running down her leg and she said, "No". She was showing many signs of being ready to potty train, but now I am having my doubts. Can someone please offer some words of advice?
    Thank you,
    Stephani

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    1. Hi Stephani,
      I know first day seems like you're getting nowhere but tomorrow will be a new day. Her breaks to potty should still be no more than 15-30mins apart. When she has an accident, have her help clean the mess up, that's not fun and shows her accountability for her accident. Keep plugging away and be consistent, don't ask her if she has to go, just place her on the potty, no distractions. Good luck with day 2 and keep me posted. Good luck!

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  70. My child is 16 months old and JUST completed your method. To be honest it took 8 days instead of 3 but keep in mind that my child was completley UNREADY to be potty trained before starting your method. I could honestly kiss you right now. http://bit.ly/pottytrng

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  71. Ok, I just sat here and typed a really long, detailed 20 minute essay basically, about where I was worth potty training with my 28 mo son and the obstacles we've faced/are facing, and the strengths we have etc and then tried to copy it for myself and accidentally deleted it. .. so. .basically I have several questions/fears about training him based on my situation and his personality as I have medical issues (fibro and rheumatoid arthritis), and his nick name is houdini kinevil lol, I love my child, he's just very active, smart, fearless, but still only 2. I'm worried about day training and then what to do about nights as I know he's not ready for a bed, vs his crib, for safety reasons, for one. And two, he's been wishy washy about hating/not caring about soiled diapers. . To the point that I've had to make him wear zipped jammies backwards just to keep his diaper on when he wakes up long enough to get up the stairs and to him. So any insight you have, and any info you need, id be happy to provide...I gave, a detailed history about when we started, his verbal skills etc in my first attempt at a post lol tyvm in advance!

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    1. Ok so I decided today that after several soaked through diapers and two outfits while out (this has been another issue as of late, and he's not wearing cheap diapers, or being left unchecked either)...that tomorrow is the day. We went back out after dinner, just him and I, and picked up two cases of pull ups, actually one of the pull ups and one of the pampers easy ups, I figured they were in sale and will last a few months since they're for naps and bed time only, and he picked out new underpants and a t shirt for when he stays dry as a reward. I tried getting hubby involved, but he was too distracted. He read what I printed from here, so that's a start. I figured the next three days are clear for me, so why wait until the older two go back to school like I was going to. That will be a routine change, and a rocky time to start I guess. I figure by starting now, well have two weeks under our belt and can adjust if necessary. I got him all pumped up and told him in the morning we were saying goodbye to diapers! He's extremely verbal and asks questions and tells stories, sings etc, so I'm hoping that's even tho he's in the full throws of the"say no to everything" phase, hopefully this won't be too bad! Any insight anyone has would be awesome, as this time around is completely different for me, would be welcomed! They didn't even have pull ups when my oldest was being trained lol, tho he didn't need them either, so. .. wish us luck!

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  72. Hi started this method with my little boy who is just over 18 months old. We're on day 2 still a few accidents. He dribbles in his pants and cries or comes to me I put him on his potty so he can finish sometimes he does other times he will get off and dribble more. A couple of times he's pointed to his potty and I've put him on it and it's been successful. I'm just concerned as tomorrow and it's day 3 should I continue?

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  73. Sometimes he doesn't want to sit on it any longer and I get him to sit there a few minutes longer and he goes is that right to do that?

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    1. Absolutely keep going! He is doing great abs letting you know he has to go. How long are you putting him on for before he gets up and then how long until he does go?

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  74. Sometimes it take a few minutes for him to go sometimes 5-10 min I notice he does little drops on his potty then I make him stay then the full wee comes. It varies like today I said go wee wee then u can go in the garden all of a sudden he was happy to go for a wee wee. I just don't want to push him but there has been great improvement. Today I let him go 45-60 min apart and he went perfect. He does the wee wee dance or I see a drip in his pants and put him on and wait. I've noticed he does full wees on his potty today rather than little bits and the odd wee full wee.

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    1. Ok. 5 mins is ok but 10 is a bit long. If he sit's and doesn't go, then have him sit back again in 15 mins. Make the time between shorter. You guys are doing great. Accidents will happen from time to time but he is right on track. You still need to keep him going potty on a regular basis after the 3 days, as per the length of time he can handle. Everyday day it'll get longer and longer between and then he'll just take over and tell you all the time he has to go. Great job!

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    2. Ok. 5 mins is ok but 10 is a bit long. If he sit's and doesn't go, then have him sit back again in 15 mins. Make the time between shorter. You guys are doing great. Accidents will happen from time to time but he is right on track. You still need to keep him going potty on a regular basis after the 3 days, as per the length of time he can handle. Everyday day it'll get longer and longer between and then he'll just take over and tell you all the time he has to go. Great job!

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    3. Ok. 5 mins is ok but 10 is a bit long. If he sit's and doesn't go, then have him sit back again in 15 mins. Make the time between shorter. You guys are doing great. Accidents will happen from time to time but he is right on track. You still need to keep him going potty on a regular basis after the 3 days, as per the length of time he can handle. Everyday day it'll get longer and longer between and then he'll just take over and tell you all the time he has to go. Great job!

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    4. Hello thanks for the great advice it's the end of day 3 I'm absolutely AMAZED!! 15 wees in the potty and a few accidents. No poops yet though but I guess they will follow? He does run to me once he poops then to his potty. I've had to wait under 5 minutes for him to wee there's been a massive improvement. Thank you

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  76. I have followed this to the T (Daddy and older brother too, when around - our whole little family is on board with this plan). We have added reading a few books about potty and some dolly play and demonstration too. We will be beginning day four today. There is no evidence my 31 mo. old daughter is getting it. I will call any peeing on the potty an accident because it has only happened to coincide with timed sittings. Many, many, many other times she stands and pees or poops in her panties, announcing in shock that it is happening, even as recently as the night of day 3. The changes we've seen in the last three days are: 1) she has learned to be able to pull panties up and down (very tenuously) 2) she can identify verbally that pee or poop is happening as it happens. Are we on the right track or did we try this too early in her case? I don't want to go backward, but seeing no "light" coming on makes me wonder. We are tired of being sewn at the hip and unable to go anywhere (outside, the basement, the store). I need to make dinner someday :/. I'm "all in" if this is what will work best for us, but it's difficult to see no improvement, and all "3-day" methods pretty much drop off with the assumption that they at least partially "got it" after three days. If they didn't at all, what then? Any help or encouragement is appreciated. Thank you!

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    1. Hi Amy, it's tough to say what you should do. Some kids just don't get it at 2.5. Let me clarify that after 3 days there is no magic that has the child trained as we as adults or older children. You mentioned she is in shock when she is soiling herself, she shouldn't be surprised after 3 days of soiling if she isn't having many successes. The "accidents" she's having on the potty are actually successes. She needs to learn the feelings and control of going potty. If she's having accidents between every 15 min try's, maybe try 10 mins. What happens when she's soiling herself? Is she helping you clean up the mess? By the end of day 3 she should be able to hold her urine/movements for a specific time, most of the time. Some children this is 30 mins, sometimes it's 2hrs. She'll be able to verbally say when she needs to go and be able to identify if she's had an accident or not. This 3 days is for day training only, nap and nighttime follow in the weeks to come. She will also be able to be proud of her successes and possibly upset or diappionted of her accidents. Accidents in the beginning of training are a GOOD thing, they teach her how to connect the internal feelings of her bladder/intestine and the result of urine or BM. These need to be recognized and dealt with so she understands when these feelings come, the pee or poop come. That's what you want her to learn, the timing of things will space out in a manner that works best for her. Hope that helps make a decision to take a step back or not.

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  77. Hello. My little boy is still having accidents he rarely does a poop on his potty. He seemed like he picked it up as accidents was getting fewer but it seems to have stopped at a hand full of accidents not one dry day yet. What do you think carry on?

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    1. Hi Jody, he was doing so great?? Only you can make the choice to stop or not. He's only 1.5 which is very young for the 3 day method. You may want to try the training pants method for a gradual learning. Sorry I'm not of better help but only you know if you and him are at the point of needing a break or not. If you do take a break, don't make it a week or so. I would give him a few months and then go back at it OR the training pant method. Good luck

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    2. Hi Jody, he was doing so great?? Only you can make the choice to stop or not. He's only 1.5 which is very young for the 3 day method. You may want to try the training pants method for a gradual learning. Sorry I'm not of better help but only you know if you and him are at the point of needing a break or not. If you do take a break, don't make it a week or so. I would give him a few months and then go back at it OR the training pant method. Good luck

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  78. What are your suggestions if the child protesets going to the potty at one (or more lol) of the 15 minute intervals?

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  79. What are your suggestions if the child protesets going to the potty at one (or more lol) of the 15 minute intervals?

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    2. Hi Tara, I would just pick up child and bring to potty. No need to say anything just place them on it. If they throw a fit, explain that it's ok, you'll try again the next time. Don't give up. If they protest they may be testing you (how big of a fuss makes mommy not put me on potty) or they're not ready for training or they are concerned about a toy or whatever they're doing pre potty break, not being there post potty. I have some of my kid let's bring their toys to the door of bathroom or put up on "hold" while they go. Good luck!

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  80. I want to thank you for the superb post!! I surely liked every bit of it. I’ve bookmarked your internet site so I can take a appear at the latest articles you post later on.
    Toilet Folding Chair

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  81. I tried this with my 19 month old girl. She has been showing all the signs of readiness. However at the end of three day she was nowhere near getting it. I had to go back to work so my mother-in-law took over for the rest of the week but by the end of the week they were using pull-ups. But by the end of the day on day seven of them she started telling me that she needed to go potty and we took her and she went and we made a huge deal out of it with stickers and prizes. For the next six or seven times she told me before she needed to go every time and I thought yes we've got this down. Now on day nine she's started peeing in her pull-up and telling us afterwards and of course still expects a prize! Lol. Any suggestions? Do you think we should start over with panties I think it was just too much cleanup work for my mother-in-law.

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    1. Hi AJ,sorry you're having troubles. It is a trying time toilet training. Can I ask, how often are you placing her on the potty? Did she have ANY success during the first 3 days and how old is she? Thanks

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  82. She is 19 months. At first every 20 min then 30 then 45. Then every hour with lots of reminders to tell us if she needs to potty. She did have several successes on the second and third days. She held it once for 4 hrs. She also had a little drinking strike too like she knew if she drank a bunch she'd need to go. Lol. She never really told us that she needed to go beforehand until day 7. Then it was like she just got it. She was so proud of herself and she told be ahead of time like 5 or 6 times! But I really think the pull ups made her "lazy" she realized it wasn't going to make her a mess and really uncomfortable if she went in them. She didn't like it and would try to take them off but it wasn't as bad as the wet panties. So today when my mother in law left I put panties on her and she had a couple accidents I was cooking so I put a pull up on over her panties. Then she started telling me beforehand again :) so we had about 4 or 5 accidents today and about 5 successes just after 2:00pm today. Bless her I had her drinking like crazy again so we would have lots of opportunities.

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    1. Ok. You need to go back to square 1. She needs to be placed on potty every 15 mins for the entire 1st day, then 20, then 30 (if she can handle, if not stick to 15). After the 3rd day she still needs to be placed every 30mins for a week and then slowly increase time dependant on how long she can hold it but not more than every hour for the first month or so. 4 hours is an incredibly long time. She can be potty trained after 3 days but she is still a toddler and a young one at that. This will not work using pull-ups. The only time for pull-ups should be travel and nighttime. Pull ups tell her that going on the potty really isn't that important "They'll put a pull up on eventually" instead buy some plastic pants to go over undies if it's too much for your MIL.If you're cooking, place her before you start, move potty to kitchen, or get someone to help. Its very important to stick with the schedule.She has a very tiny bladder at her age and she won't be able to keep it full for very long. After 1 month at 1hr intervals move her to 1.5 and so on. Keep rewarding and sticking with it, you're doing great you've just got your timings off. Good luck!

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    2. Update: no accidents today at all except during nap. Wore panties all day! Yay! We had to do 30 min intervals because she pretty much refused every 15min. but it was always close to an hour each time she finally went. Every time she went she told me first and then we went to potty. She never would go when I took her without her asking? but we will stick with the 30 min intervals for now. Thanks so much!

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  83. We have decided to start potty training our 28 month old daughter. My concern with your method is that at my child's Parents Day Out program, though they work with children and parents with potty training, they only allow pull-ups at this age group, not underwear. Can someone use the 3 day method but use pull-ups instead of underwear? I understand the concept of the feeling of being soiled and teaching consequences but more than anything I know we must be consistent. Any feedback would be appreciated!

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    1. Hello, pull ups are very much like diapers and don't give the child that different uncomfortable feeling you're wanting when they soil themselves. Does the program allow a plastic pant to go over the undies? That's my daycare policy. If not you can use the same method but it will take much longer. You could do pull-ups there and undies at home OR have her wear the pull ups on the OUTSIDE of her pants.That way she'll get the uncomfortable feeling from the undies and pants but the sanitary protection of the pull up. Good luck! I hope you can figure out a solution that works best.

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    2. Thanks for your suggestions. I'll let you know our progress.

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  84. We are on day 3 with our 24 month old son and he's yet to have a success. There have been less accidents today because I think he's holding it but he still doesn't go on the potty. I've followed your advice to the letter. Is he just not ready?

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    1. He may not be Areed. You can take a break and try again in a bit or you can try a different method.

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  85. for us it did not work the 3 day potty training.... we had to go and do "more" training..in fact, we joined something new, called the 30 day potty training challenge... which basically is a list of games to play with kids before physical training starts! it really worked!!

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  86. Update: 2 months later she is still using the potty :) even started waking up dry on her own :) we still have an occasional accident but this worked great. I did take us a wk instead of 3 days but she was only 19mo old when we started. So thanks you so much!!!! This worked for us!!! :)

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    1. So awesome! And you trained a 19 month old!!! Kudos 😀 Great job!

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  87. Started this last monday and my 27 month old son picked up on it instantly. The first day he had a accident but since then no accidents and he hasnt wet a pamper over night in 5 days! Thanks for the great info ♡

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  88. Hi, can you help me please? I started training my 19 month daughter base on your post and its day 1, she loved to sit on toilet before we actually start training and she doesnt mind doing it when clock rings but if she actualy needs to poo or wee she would screem and cry so bad till I get her off the potty or toilet and then she would do it in few second standing somewhere in the house! What should I do?

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  89. At the end of the day she didnt go right even once, she knew if its poo or wee and would say oh no oh no and ran out of toilet and did it on the floor, should I go for second day or give her some time?

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